Eric is doing wonderfully well. There has been some slightly off attributes that have been concerning us for a long time. We had hoped that as he matured, he would grow out of them. Instead, they seem to be getting worse.

One of the problems is his speech and signs. Eric knew a few words and at least 6 signs. He started walking and lost them. He has never been able to get them back. He says Mama again, and sometimes "lo" (hello), but that is it for speech. The only signs is clapping for good job and Hurray! It is normal for children to lose language because they are so intensely focused on walking, but as soon as the walking is established, language should begin to come back. Not so with Eric. Sadly this is common. One day he will do something, the next, it is if he never learned it and it doesn't come back. We still do the signs in the hopes Eric will start picking it up again.

Even for his adjusted age, Eric is still falling behind. It used to be just a couple of months, but the gap is slowly widening. In some areas, he is below the abilities of a one year old. Yet he is advanced for his age in other areas.

Eric dislikes being read to, but can deeply focus on a video during feeding times. He has to sit for 30 minutes after being fed to keep him from vomiting. Kipper and The Wiggles are the only sure things that will keep him from flailing and screaming to get out of his chair before his time is up. The Wiggles has music and dancing which seem to calm him down and Kipper is very low-key and not overwhelming him they way most cartoons seem to.

Other concerns are: he has a tendency to avoid eye contact, even when he is asking to be picked up. Doesn't seem to hear us at times and ignores us when we call his name when we are right next to him, but will come from all they way across from the house when we call his name. He has difficulty playing with his toys. He doesn't seem to understand how to use them, even when shown or having previously used them correctly.

The above example are just a few examples of the many concerns that we have been having. Small concerns that have added up. The more we research on autism and ADD, the more concerned we have become.

We did speak to Eric's speech therapist (ST) on Saturday and she does see many of the same things that we were concerned about. She has recommended a couple of development pediatricians for testing. Now we just need to get an appointment.

DS had brain bleeds 1&2 and they resolved normally, but depending how close they were to the temporal lobe, some minor memory damage may have occurred. That would explain why Eric has trouble retaining information. ST also mentioned he may have more autistic-type symptoms because of the bleeding and because of the NICU experience. NICUs are loud and bright places, and the babies are constantly being handled. Not the ideal situation for a growing fetus. He had to learn how to shut things out which may have caused some rewiring.

I had picked up a book on sensory integration disorders because of Eric's issues with food. It also mentioned that many premature babies can have autistic tendencies. This collaborates what ST was telling us.

Learning disabilities and ADD run in my family and both Cris and I have been diagnosed with ADD. Eric's rough start in life would be just exacerbating the situation if those are present. Learning disabilities and ADD are also highly prevalent in preemies, even without adding in genetics.

Autism is not quite ruled out just yet. There are other milder forms of autism than just Asperger's. DS may just be on the high-functioning end, at high-risk, or just have a number of autistic traits, without actually being on the spectrum itself. His speech therapist (who also does cognitive therapy) has suggested that we may want to try using play tools designed for kids with autism to see if that helps, regardless of the diagnosis.

Eric is still the sweetest child who loves to cuddle and has a great sense of humor. We just need to find ways of engaging Eric so that he is able to learn and retain the information. Once we find out where the problem lies, we can find ways of helping him. Regardless of diagnosis, he is still the most perfect and wonderful little boy. All diagnosis will mean is that we will finally have a path to understanding him and discovering the right tools to give Eric the best possible start in life.